it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
