Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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