Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
