Whod you bang
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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