i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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