Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
