At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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