just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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