I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
