It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
