I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
