she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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