every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Shame - the story of my life.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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