just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
