Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna bring you to show and tell
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
