In the future we'll all be gay
I'm really into asian looking animals
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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