Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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