Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
