she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize