How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
