Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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