If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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