You smell like stripper and shame
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize