Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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