omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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