We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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