Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
