Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
