WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
