I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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