So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
