no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Operation Purity has been aborted
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
