a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize