I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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