Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
