Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
