So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
