her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
