How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
