I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
