Non-Jews are for practice
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
