I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
