I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
