you're like a bully in the Christmas story
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
