If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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