do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
