I CAN MOONWALK!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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