I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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