Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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