I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
