Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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