Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
