office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
