oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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