You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All the doctor said was why
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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