Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house

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(440): View more from Ohio

i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...

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(636): View more from Missouri

Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

that was THE gayest party i've ever been to

(1-336): View more from North Carolina

To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.

(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I wake up by myself then?

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(619): View more from California

You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.

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