Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
