time to smoke my breakfast
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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