so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
