I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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