The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize