fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
