Your tits are I can't wait for
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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