Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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