Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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