So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
