Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
