chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize