do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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