You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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