I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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