Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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