its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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