One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
