fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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