I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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