i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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