I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
