it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
