Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
