This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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