your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
