For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
