i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
