Can Purell be used as lube?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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