Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
