you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize